Amazing adventures in Hollywood!

For months, the girls and I have been trying to get to go see a taping of the Ellen Degeneres show. For those living under a rock.... We love her and think she is hysterical. Every time we would check her website, there were no tickets available. Well this month, I checked and they had some availability. So I signed us up to attend a taping on October 14th. After I signed up for the tickets, I sent an email to Ellen from Smirk.. The email had said that the girls wanted to take me for my birthday... As it is a big birthday... And guess what happened!!!

Last week we got a call from Ellen's production company. They didn't have tickets for the 14th, but had standby tickets for October 7th. They were only standby and we might not get in but they assured us that if we didn't get in we would have guaranteed tickets for a later date. We all felt lucky and said OK!

So today we drove up to Burbank, went to the studio and checked in. We were handed standby numbers 302 - 305!!! This was for the 2nd taping of the day!!!! There were 200 people inside the studio at a time.

As we stood at the street signal to cross the street I happened to notice a very tall, sun glassed guy standing on the opposite corner of the street. I grabbed Grin by the arm and said "Look, MEN IN TREES!!! Abraham Benrubi... The bartender!!! We were so excited! We loved that show and he was fantastic in it!! Grin nearly stopped breathing!!

So after we crossed the street, we were escorted to the riff raff room right inside the entrance a very large sound stage. Really nice, huge screen tv's couches and the Ellen store. We got to watch and listen to the taping. It was so fun!!! Today's show taping was actually for October 16th. Now every day, on Ellen, she gives away fabulous gifts and door prizes. Carlos, the production assistant told us that the Riff Raff doesn't usually get the swag that they give away, but he would try! And low and behold he did!!! We all received copies of Natasha Bedingfield's CD.... Again for those rock people http://www.natashabedingfield.com/home.html. Natasha sings the popular song, Pocket full of sunshine. She is also helping promote a Wii Video game called Boogie Superstar. We got both of those! But the most amazing and wonderful prize. Since this is breast cancer awareness month, and Ellen is a big supporter of breast cancer research, she is raising money for the Susan G. Komen foundation. (if you would like to donate... visit www.ellentv.com) Wacoal ,the bra company has decided to help her cause. The folks at Wacoal donated $50,000 to Ellen's race for the cure and they donated bras and a fitting to everyone in the audience!!!! We were soooo excited to find out that we in the Riff Raff room got all of these things too!!!!! WAHOO!! We all get new bras!!! How excited are we!!!

We got to see a star and get a new bra too!!!! We also got our guaranteed tickets and will be going back to see the actual taping of the show in November! Hollywood is so fantastic!

The beginning of my depression...

So if this guy can get a girl, why the heck cant I find a guy... So do I need to be either morbidly obese or need to be super thin...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7648634.stm

Never ending pasta bowl???

So Olive Garden has the never ending pasta bowl.... Vegas has their massive buffets... There the song that never ends, and the Never Ending Story... People say love never ends.

But today Smirk and I decided that we need to have other never ending things in our lives. For one, we want a never ending supply of shampoo and conditioner. Pipes that run into our house, directly into our showers. It would be great if they could have pumps and we could always have shampoo and conditioner!

We also want a never ending supply of milk... I used to think we wanted a cow but where the hell would we put a 1 ton animal? It wont fit in our front walk, the neighbors might object to the smell. And I think the gardeners would be very pissed off about the manure, although it is natural!! So we decided that just like water into the fridge, we want milk... Again, more pipes, but hey, it could work!!

Our last "never ending" is gas... Not sure how that one would work... Magic, tanker trucks following us around, or just free gas for life. But I think every body wants that one... Although if we just had cars that ran on solar or by splitting the atom, we wouldn't need never ending gas.

So, what "never ending" things do you want in your life???

Why bother having children...

People confuse me! Alot... The reason for this confusion are parents. For instance, Smirk has two best friends who left for college this weekend. As the adoptive mommy, I was required to drive to Santa Barbara to help them settle. As the adoptive mommy who doesn't get along with the real mommy, I was not going to go until real mommy left. Smirk and I started our drive at 11:30am.
We got to Santa Barbara (which is only about 100 miles away) 3 hours later. Traffic sucked because people cant drive, but not the point.

Pony Princess and Pimp Daddy (the two friends) had left with their respective parents at 6am. Pony princess' mother and sister drove her up to the campus, help her dump her stuff into a bin and carry said stuff up the stairs and then LEFT.

Pimp Daddy's mum, drove up there, help him unload, helped him make his bed, realized they didn't have some supplies, took Pony Princess, Pimp Daddy and Lane (another bff) to the store (about a 1/2 hour away), purchased stuff, bought them all lunch, made sure PD had everything he could need, called every relative known to man to show her pride in her college man....

So when adoptive mommy gets there, Pony Princess has made her bed, tried to unload her stuff in the 12 x 1o closet she shares with 2 other girls. She is completely unorganized. Being the last girl to arrive, she gets a desk, a small two drawer dresser, and 1/3 of each wardrobe. She also gets the top bunk, which is fine, except she had made her bed without washing her sheets or airing out the memory foam pad. The memory foam pad that MY AUNTIE purchased her, and the sheets that I purchased for her... Her real mommy did nothing. She didn't stay to help, she didn't help put things away, she didn't go through the room checklist to determine what the kid might need, she just left....

So being my normal mild mannered self, I sat idly by and let poor Pony Princess flounder and struggle... NOT!! Of course I took charge... We went through her room, marked out things that were wrong, made a list of what she didn't have but would need ( a chair pad for the really hard wooden desk chair) We didn't have paper to make the list so Smirk wrote all of the items on her hands... She looked like the guy from the movie Memento. Then we toured the campus, finding things, helping her get hooked up to the Internet, find the food court area, find fun things to do for the next week, help her find the job center. By the time we left, I was exhausted.

But why didn't her own mother do all of this? Why just dump the kid off and bail. Why not help her? Did she just have 5 children to have minions to take out the trash?? And especially this kid, out of the 5, Pony Princess is the only one who is not a mother at 16, or a drug addict and the only one going to college... Wouldn't you want to do extra for her???

This whole day made Smirk very sad. Not only because two of her bff's are far away, but she really wants to go away to experience college life. I understand too... I want to get away but not for college life.... How about tropical island life?? Rich heiress life?? Idle rich life??? Those would work for me...

School Daze...

September has come!! School has started for all the amused girls. Grin gets up at 5:30am so she can be in her first class of the day starting at 6:41am. So in turn the chauffeur gets up at 5:00am just to make sure the happy girl gets moving! I blearily make peanut butter sammies at 6am and get ready to drive her away. Her first class is Spanish...How one can concentrate on a foreign language at 6:40 in the morning is beyond me especially since I have a difficulty with English at that time. Meanwhile Smirk sleeps in until 8:30ish, since her first class doesn't start until 10:30am.

Grin is loving school (no surprise there) while Smirk is sad... Her friends are all leaving for college this next weekend and she feels like she is missing out on an experience by staying at home and going to community college. She understands why she needs to do it and agrees it is smart and the best choice for us, but it is hard. She wants a dorm room and to go away and try to learn on her own.

But Smirk will meet new people...She had her first job interview yesterday. We dressed her up in one of my suit dresses and pearls (she spruced it up with a belt and pretty shoes) and went down to the Marriott Renaissance Club Sport. She interviewed to be a Kid Club attendant, basically a babysitter for the rich and snooty members who go to this spa/fitness center/hotel and bring their children. When she got back, I of course, peppered her with questions... The conversation went something like this (please keep in mind, I did have about 5 cups of coffee)

Me: So, how did it go??
Smirk: it was good
Me: Good? Did you like the place? What was the job? Were the people nice?
S: It was...
M: What do they want you to do? Did they tell you when they would call and let you know if you got it? Did you get a card of the person you spoke to?
S: It would...
M: Did you tell them about your school schedule? Were they willing to work with you on that??
S: MOTHER... SHUT UP for 2 minutes and I will tell you everything...
M: Sorry.....
S: It was fine, I like the place, I would be a babysitter, the people were nice... What else do you want to know??? SLOWLY... And by the way, no more coffee...
M: Did you get the name and business card of the person who interviewed you...
S: No, her name was Hope, but why would I get her card...
M: How will you send her a thank you letter?
S: What ever...
M: but... You have.. You need to...
S: Whatever, but on a good note.. There was a way hot guy working there!
M: AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Maybe I need to start spiking my coffee....

I love technology???

As I sit in the airport, tethered to my laptop in the special armchairs that have electric plugs between each chair, I realize how much I have missed as I sit here working... Still... I have been working since 7am and it is now 6:30pm... Am I insane?? Instead of going and having a drink at the restaurant, I sit hear typing away... Working...Not looking up to see the strange and often amusing sights at the airport... For instance, the guy in the t-shirt that has been customized..Ripped off sleeves and a v cut into the neck to allow his fur to poke out the top of his neck line accessorized by the large gold chain at his neck, pinkie ring and belly hanging over the jeans (too tight)...Or there is the guys from my group... Sales guys, need I say more. They are all shmoozy and sitting across the terminal from me. After having spent 3 days with me they are so self absorbed they look up but dont really "look" at all and still have not seen me. Or the exhausted parents chasing their small children through the airport, hopefully trying to tire them out so they will not scream when held captive on the plane for the hour long flight.

I used to think it was fun to people watch and be adventurous when in a new city. You know, not worry about getting lost while driving through the place. Thinking it might be fun to ask someone for directions... But now instead taking adventure, I take the GPS option in the rental car. I have "Prudence" to keep me company. Garmin's option of voices in the GPS is a tight lipped British voice telling you to TURN RIGHT HERE. The accent makes the directions sound safe and intelligent, even though I didnt program it correctly and went for shortest route, not fastest and drove through cow country...Did you know there are are alpacas living in San Ramon, California. I sure didnt until now... I did love having the GPS and never leave home without mine... But what happened to the days of real maps...You know the ones, the paper things with all the folds that you get from AAA not that piece of paper you printed off Yahoo!Maps. Is there some sort of map makers guild with a bunch of old guys sitting around drinking coffee bitching about the state of the world and how they are obsolete now that there is GPS?? Or what about gas stations, do you think anyone ever comes in and asks for directions in a small town gas station? What if my soulmate was in that gas station waiting for me to come and ask directions and I bypass it and use my GPS....I guess I will never know..... For now I will sit here and play a game, read a blog and not look up for the next two hours til my flight departs... Solitary, alone and sucked in by my new best friend...Technology

Can September come any faster???

I love summer. It is great! Nice and warm, everyone seems a bit relaxed... But this year, I just wish September would come now and get these hellions out of my house!!! At least for a few hours!! Smirk registered for her classes yesterday at the local college, so she is now officially a full time college student! Now to get her a job, and we will be set!!!

Grin has been doing homework for her summer class so she really hasn't had a break. She says all her crankiness, I mean studious hard work will pay off when she is a top notch veterinarian and will support me in my old age (HA)

Someday soon my children will leave me and I will look back on these days of stress and telling them to get their disgusting feet off my couch and pick up the food wrappers from the floor, and be sad. I am sure almost wistful for these days again, but for now... They need to get out!!!