Damn them to the first gate of hell!!!

I went to the store near my office to get some lunch and upon walking into the store I was greeted by a sweet little girl in a green jumper!!! I was soo excited! COOKIES!!! Yes! I could taste the thin mints while I searched for my salad and other boring diet food... I got to the check out line... Where I felt oddly out of place.. The woman in front of me was purchasing 6 bottles of wine and two packages of cigarettes for her trip to Vegas while the two women behind me were each purchasing 2 bottles of wine and at least 3 packs of easter chocolate... I had a salad, pack of gum and some quaker rice snacks... Anyway... I get my $10 cash back and rush to the exit doors.... ONLY TO FIND THE LITTLE BRATS WERE GONE! How dare they tease me! They should be tortured! My thighs & waist band thank them but my brain and tastebuds were sorely upset. As I type this I sit eating the quaker rice snacks pretending they are thin mints... It just isnt fair...

Nuts...

The now settled tv writers strike is killing me... Not only do I have nothing to watch on television and am left to the mercy of MTV or reality shows, but now I find out that the lovely, brilliant execs at NBC have cancelled Las Vegas as of now... They will not be showing the second part of the cliff hanger where they left us last week. They are just going to kill the show.

I understand their dilemma. While I like Tom Selleck, I miss James Caan and Nikki Cox. But the show has gone a little stale, but to not tell us the outcome of Danny & Delinda's baby is just wrong... I enjoy the gooey moments of television! I want to do the awww-ing when we see the happy parents and the cute 6 month old newborn. I enjoy tearing up a little at the mush.. But I am to be denied!!!! Why cant they just shoot the remainder of the season and leave it on a happy note... Bring Ed back from the ether for that series finale... Bring back Nessa and Mary... We need to see one more shot of Mike & Piper....

Well it seems that I am not the only one who thinks this way... The folks at http://lasvegas-theseries.com/ have decided to pull a Jericho! When CBS cancelled Jericho last year a group decided to send the studio nuts as this was something this was a story that was told to our hero Jake about a last stand, something they were facing at the time. The studio received 250 TONS of nuts... So the Vegas junkies at the website above have started a campaign to send baby booties to Ben Silverman at NBC...

Looks like I will be making a Target run tonight!!!

See Spot Run....

Somehow I found myself on a email list for a popular "mom" website. You know one of those Mom's Unite websites, a place where you can chat with other mom's about pertinent issues facing you and your children... In other words a place where stay at home mom's can whine... I don't have anything against stay at home mom's at all. Trust me I may sound bitter but the abundance of these websites is crazy!

Anyway, the email I received had to do with the amount of homework children are receiving from schools. Since I feel strongly about this and have for several years, I took a peek. There were posts from moms with kids in kindergarten up to 5th grade. Since Smirk and Grin are long out of those grades I felt I needed to tell them to suck it up, it doesn't get any better. These mom's were complaining about little precious having 45 minutes of homework whilst in kindergarten. I wrote to these mummies explaining how on Sunday night, my highschoolers came home from their fathers with the remaining of their weekend homework. They had been working on it off and on all weekend long. Smirk had to finish her essay on Beowulf and her powerpoint presentation on penicillin & Smirk needed to finish her questions on Macbeth. In other words, here is how my Sunday evening went. Driving 20 miles to pick up girls, listen to them bicker all the way home, listen to the argue about who got me first to assist with their remaining homework, wish to all the stars i the heavens I could win lotto so I could get the radio in my car fixed so I could drown out the bickering, get home, sit down at computer with Macbeth in one hand and the other on my phone explaining to the former Mr Amused how to send Smirk's Beowulf essay & power point presentation from her laptop which she left at his house... After receiving said works, I proceed to fix the power point and make it pretty, something she was unable to do because she couldn't get the stupid laptop mouse to work correctly (mental note, look at her laptop when it returns and make sure the mouse touch pad isn't covered in chocolate covered raisin goo) and answer Macbeth questions (mental note, invent time machine and travel back to 1603 and give William Shakespeare something else to write about) Grin could make her way through the old english but she was stuck on how to illustrate several of the passages... Her teacher seemed to think that if they were to draw pictures of the quotes "Out, damned spot; out, I say. One, two,—why, then ’tis time to do’t. Hell is murky" or "Fair is foul, and foul is fair Hover through the fog and filthy air"; this would expand their creativity. I get it, I understand but this is an english class... Not an English Lit class, that would be Smirk's class, but a plain old English class where they are supposed to learn spelling and grammar. How is drawing going to assist in that?
But back to the evening, after the powerpoint came the fluffing of Beowulf. Smirk inherited from her father the worst spelling abilities in history. While Smirk got her assistance, Grin moved on to the remaining spanish questions. I cant help there as my spanish is limited to ordering a taco and a beer/tequila or asking where the bathroom might be at an americanized mexican restaurant. After finishing my portion of the homework, they were left to finish and review their work, I still had to finish the laundry and ready myself for work the next day. Packing lunches for all and ironing my pants.
And I had to do all this before 9pm so we could watch the ending of Pride & Prejudice on Masterpiece Theater. Thank god for DVR!!!
The amazing thing was, after I had ranted all this on the MOM site and hit send, their site rejected my post. Must have been too much of a complaint and they didnt want the other mommies to feel bad

strange things I find...

at the bottom of my purse...

1 very furry breathmint of unknown date & origin as I have not purchased breathmints in 6 mos
1 bobby pin... who wears bobby pins???
3 pennies
4 un-stapled staples (how did these get there???)
Grin's School id card
a peanut (yes, singular peanut, no shell & no fur??)
and last but not least, a Belle (of the Disney Princess variety, not just french for pretty) Pez dispenser, empty...Seriously, if they are going to dump junk in my purse you would think they would leave me a candy and not a furry breath mint!!!!

The agony of defeat....

The Lady Dolphins fabulous season has come to a bitter end. The girls basketball program has not had a winning season in over 20 years. The school hasn't even made it to the CIF championship tournament since 1984. But this year, our girls not only took 3rd place in one of the hardest leagues in California, but they made it to the second round of CIF. The boys team only made it to the first round (HA... that will teach the school to only support the boys) I have never been so proud to be a team mom in all of my life.

The girls played so hard last night and even Smirk got a few minutes of court time. They started out strong but the team they were playing just out performed them. There was alot of black eyeliner running and bunch of melancholy athletes. Even the coach was crying. He made them all cry by telling them how they were the best team he has ever coached, and if he didnt have a few of the girls that were on the bench he might never have gotten all of the girls on the team to perform as well as they did. Smirk was included in this group as one of the girls who inspired the others with her attitude. She was crying so hard and so was another one of her friends who was the main inspiration for the team. These two girls who only played in 5 games out of 20 showed up at practice every day and gave 100% in every situation. They cheered the loudest and made sure everyone was pumped up. When they got in the game, they played their very best. These comments from a 6'5" stern and scary man with tears in his eyes had the whole room in tears. It even makes me tear up now...

Now we only have to make it through the end of season banquet without too many tears and that is one more "last thing" for this group of senior girls.

I better stock up on tissues... Maybe buy stock in Kleenex...

The Dolphins win!!!

So excited as we were to drive up to Saugus... (UGH may I say) we were excited to drive home a winning team!!!! Below is an bitter grape article from the Saugus Newspaper

http://newmedia.the-signal.com/news/article/327/

If you look very carefully over #14's right shoulder, you can see Smirk's eyes & hair... She didnt play but wow what a great game!!!!

The opposing teams coach actually asked the ref's to cut them some slack on fouling our girls because they were all so much taller than their team... I couldnt believe he assumed that they just would go easier on them because of that.... Is it our fault that the Dana Girls ate too much genetically enhanced chicken as children?? The team does have two girls who are just over 6 feet tall and most of the rest are almost there as well.. Then we have a few (Smirk) who dont even hit mid fives....

Sing, sing a song....

Last week, Grin, my very tall and lovely 15 year old was informed by her Musical Theater teacher, Mrs. Cant Do So Will Teach, that they (the class) needed to pick a song that had 32 cords and sing it in front of the class. Grin came home, not grinning... She does not like to sing in front of anyone, including me. And unfortunately, I believe she is slightly tone deaf... She has never been taught keys nor does she know any notes. I dont either so I am of little help. I can only sing the songs like I know them but cannot read sheet music. Grin is only in musical theater because she has to be in order to be in SOSCA (the South Orange County School of the Arts, think FAME in public school). She wants to learn about acting, not star in a Broadway musical, but these teachers think everyone should and does know about music. As I was not really sure what a 32 cord song was, we decided to call the most musical person we know. Grandpa Guffaw! And as usual he was a great help! Thank you Grandpa!

So we tried to look for a song. I suggested anything from the Sound of Music, as it is easy and fun. But no, Grin said that those songs were overdone. I tried thinking of songs that were sung with a funny accent or mostly spoken, so that she didnt have to try to hit notes. But we couldnt come up with any... So she went and asked the teacher for assistance. The teacher gave her a very large book filled with Broadway bound songs from the last 50 years. I tried suggesting so many from this book... Songs that I love, but little Miss Prim & Proper was not going to have any of it... Songs like Dont Rain on My Parade and Tomorrow were immediately rejected on the basis of hitting the notes... I whole heartedly agreed... But I do not understand what was wrong with 10 Cents a Dance... I love that song! But no, I finally convinced her that she should do I'll Never Fall in Love Again. Another favorite of mine. She wanted to be assured that my singing was actually how the song went so we had to look it up on YouTube and found a version sung by the Carpenters. Ah the memories!!!

Soothed by the fact that I really did know this song and was very sure in my singing of it. She had me sing it over and over again until she was exactly sure of how it was supposed to go. But being Grin, she still wont sing it in front of me. So she went off to take a shower and sung it in there. But was having great difficulty with one of the "again" notes near the ending of the song lines. It was just coming out flat. After 12 more times of singing this song to her, I now have it stuck in my head. It was stuck in my dream... And I still have one more day of practicing with her.

But back to the big issues. Grin is petrified. She is so scared of having to sing in front of her class that I had to fall back on another Carpenter's hit to try to give her confidence a boost and to get the other song out of my head. As her confidence was waning I stood up on the bed and belted "Dont worry that its not good enough for anyone else to hear, just sing, sing a song".. This brought a very large grin to her face but she is still scared to death.... I am going to have to keep singing the Carpenters song book all night long....