guilty pleasures

So the spawn and I were sitting around the house today watching movies while I worked from home. And the commercial for the Lifetime"Flying Tigress" came on. We realized that everyone watches Lifetime but no one wants to actually admit it. Where else can you get the cheesy movies that you all love but wont ever come clean about it... But if someone does get up the courage to speak about one, you know every line. You know the programming I am referring to... The Epics "Mother May I Sleep With Danger?" "Sex and the Single Mom" "Army Wives". These are all great movies/shows, but would you really admit that you watch them or are they your guilty little pleasures that you watch as you curl up on your couch on a Sunday in pj's... (This could also be substituted with every Bruce Willis movie ever made).

What about staying in bed all day long on a rainy day, reading books and drinking tea, while skipping the massive piles of laundry that are threatening to walk themselves to the washer?

Or how about in the days of cheaper gas, driving down the road with the windows down, singing "Brown Eyed Girl" or "Surfin USA" at the top of your lungs (not exactly in key).

There is always that shopping trip that you have to make but really don't want to and yet you end up finding the most amazing treasure ever... And at 70% off!!

Those are mine, so what guilty pleasures do you have????

Fire Watch 08

Smirk and her friends are out in the woods alone! No grown ups (unless you count Smirk, who technically is an adult, but not really), no rules, no curfew, no nothing... Including tent poles and matches....

The group decided to go camping. They planned this for all of about 2 days. Then was the mad dash to get supplies, find a campsite and actually drive up the mountain. None of them had ever been camping without an adult preparing for them so watching this was absolute comedy!! Conversations were had that went like this - Smirk "So what should we get to eat? I am thinking sandwich stuff, maybe some steaks, some spaghetti?" Best Friend #1 "Sounds good!!! So we will need steak, plates and A1 sauce and forks" Interjection from the mother listening from the couch "Unless you enjoy steak tartar, how will you be cooking this side of beef and fabulous pasta meal?" Silence - crickets chirping - "Uh, what do you mean?" said BFF. "Well to cook steak is not that difficult on a grill, but unless you have a rotisserie spit or really large grill for your open campfire, since the campsites do not have a barbecue provided, what will you be doing? And how will you boil the water for the pasta??? Are you bringing a pot and if so, I want to see which one so you dont lose my favorite pot in the woods!"

Eventually pasta was nixed and the girls purchased a small charcoal barbecue. They also purchased all of the food and supplies while the two strapping man boys who are also attending this outdoor fest did NOTHING!!! They said they will give money later.

They finally made it up to the mountain and unpacked the car... Hilarity ensued for us parents when the ex Mr Amused called me and asked if I had heard from the mountaineers... I said yes but hours ago... He informed me he had just received a call from a very unhappy Smirk... She asked him where the tent poles were..... OOOPS.. She took the tent, but failed to grab the poles from the cabinet behind the tent. The boys refused to go back down the mountain (an hour drive) to get them, they also refused to go into town (a 10 minute drive) to go to the local sporting goods store and see if there was tent to be rented. They wanted to be manly and sleep in the outdoors...

I will be going to stock up on calamine lotion for when the return!!! I am taking bets.. They are supposed to return on Thursday evening... I say they will be back Wednesday at about noon....

Do you feel like dancing, wooo dancing...

I love music... Any kind of music, I am not partial. I can listen to country, rock, metal rock, gregorian chants, 80's punk, classical, broadway show tunes. I like it all. Smirk seems to have inherited my love of music (without the classical and gregorian chants) and could not survive without the invent of the ipod. She can be found bouncing around the house dancing to her own beat.
We all have deep conversations about figuring out our theme songs. We can be found breaking out into song to answer random questions.
Grin, is far more serious in her musical thoughts (as she is with everything else). While she does participate in our fun, she only likes certain musical genres. We are trying to expand her horizons but it is difficult.

Grin cannot read and listen to music at the same time. Nor can she do homework while the TV or radio is on. She has to have complete silence while reading...For instance right now the clicking of the keyboard is probably driving her insane as she sits next to me in a catatonic state while struggling through the first chapter of the Mayor of Casterbridge for her summer reading lists. You can hear ever twitter of the birds outside. You can hear the leaf drop from the trees...

The silence is DEAFENING and killing me....

Resorting to Smirk's ipod, as she is still asleep and surgically removed it from her head before bed. It is quite a picture.... Me, head nodding back and forth, typing in time to the beat of some 80's pop band ooh-laa-ing about how to free my mind and the rest will follow into my ear, while I lip sync along, for I am not allowed to sing aloud. While my lovely child glares over the top of the book, like a somber librarian shushing me, informing me that my lip syncing is loud and just as distracting as my chair dancing... I feel like Kevin Bacon in footloose... I am going to explode into dance and song very soon!!! She better watch out.... I am going to start jumping on the couch and dancing around her prostrate, taciturn body. I do believe I will start with a melody about my favorite things....

Ou est la couer?

I have been in love with France ever since I set foot in the country in 1986. And not just France, I love England and Italy and Switzerland as well. But while in France, I had no money left on my European trip and my parents had wired me money. Only hitch, I had to go to a specific bank. I couldnt just go to the local B of A and pick up money, no I had to go to a bank on a certain street. I had the address and set out with a group of friends on our free time day in Paris. I was the only one who could speak French and that was passable at best. We started from the hostel and went out on the Champs D'Elysee and walked with L'Arc du Triumph at our backs. We found the nearest Metro station and paid for a ticket. I found the street we needed to be on and the correct stop and jumped on the next train. We got to the street just fine, but then we could not find the bank. There were beautiful buildings in this district but none said Banque... Nothing.. The girls were all afraid of asking someone for help as we had all heard about the French attitude towards Americans... But I was not afraid. I walked right up the nearest local and asked in atrocius french, "Ou est la banque?" He started to babble very fast and motion with his hands.. I tried to follow along and watch his hands, but it was to no avail.. I was completely lost... I started to tear up and this very sweet old french man stopped... He looked at me and said in Frenglish... "Alors!! No, do not cry ma petite, follow me!" This sweet man took us all like ducklings to the door of the bank! He came inside with us and told the teller what we needed! I nearly hugged him and kissed him!!! He was my hero. As the teller took my paper with the money transfer info and my passport, I turned to thank our hero, but he was walking out the door... We all very unlady like yelled across the very quiet, old financial institution our profuse thank you's.

Ever since that moment, I have wanted to go back to France. I want to live in a old chateau in some sleepy, sun drenched town full of vineyards and old stone houses. I have read books because they are set in france. I love Joanne Harris novels and french wine. I subscribe to a daily email subscription from an English painter who lives in Provence. He paints the local landscapes and still life paintings. They are lovely!! http://www.shiftinglight.com/

Some of my favorite movies are french!!! Have you ever watched the Umbrellas of Cherbourg?? Fantastic movie from the 60's. I have now found a new one!!!! Today I watched "A Good Year" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0401445/ and now I want an eccentric uncle to leave me his vineyard in France... Can someone please find me one??? I dont believe we have any in my family but if anyone out there in blog land would like to adopt me and bequeath their vineyard to me, I will be more than happy to live their and make fantastic wine!!!

Now that I have had my dreams of france, I must go back to the drudgery of the day and go to the grocery store... and laundry... and vacuuming.... I realize that I would have to do all of these things if I lived en France' but if I were there, it would be far more wonderful and romantic to do these mundane chores there, than here....

Drama!!

I have been a bad blogger! I realize that I have not posted in quite some time, but WOW! We have been a busy household. This week has seen finals, volunteering, end of school and more work than I need!


Since the school year is coming to an end we have had finals and studying for finals. And alot of "Last" things for high school! Smirk is graduating on WEDNESDAY! My baby is now a full grown adult. She is smart and amazing and I cannot wait to see what she makes of herself in the future.


Grin, with 2 years left in high school, is also amazing but more exciting, her Dad finally realized that she is talented and he should stop picking on her for wanting to be in the Drama program. She and her fellow sophomores had to perform monologues in front of an actual audience. Hers was touching and she did really well!!! The ex Mr. Amused was extremely upset with me for saying anything negative (HELLO, all I said was that she needed to slow down, she got nervous when she looked out into the audience and saw us and went a little fast) but ex Mr has completely changed his tune...


Grin also was kidnapped Friday night or Saturday morning, but I stayed up almost all night to make sure the kidnappers actually got in our abode... They did and was it worth it!!! One was dressed as a parrot, one was dressed as a pirate, there was a maid and a one had an outfit I didnt really recognize, but it was dark when they finally arrived at 5:30am (they were kinda like the cable company as they were supposed to arrive between 2 and 4am) but they walked into the living room and I could hear them whispering, now what?? So I whispered back "Are you the kidnappers?" they whispered back a fervent yes! (they had tried several "G" apartments in my complex...weird that people dont lock their doors) they trooped upstairs as quietly as someone dressed in a parrot costume could and went into Grin and Smirks room.. Then there was some confusion as to which bed to look in as there are 3 in the room... Two real beds and one air mattress on the floor for Pony Princess when she stays over... So I pointed them in the right direction and they couldnt find her head... after they found that she was blindfolded and trooped down the stairs and out into the car... She had a great time and has been formally inducted onto the Thespian Society Student Board as the Scribe... She isnt quite sure of what that entails, but she is excited!

Now we are off to clean the for the arriving graduation party relatives!!

Kids...

Let me start out by making this statement... I love kids. I really do. I think little ones are fun and innocent and make great toys! They can amuse you for hours! I even like it when they get bigger, but they do have attitude when they get bigger, but it is still fun...

What I dont like is when GROWN UPS bring children into places that are not appropriate places for kids. Like right now for instance... I am sitting at my desk trying to figure out this stupid spreadsheet and double check it to the power point presentation when all of a sudden there is whining... And crying from a small little, drippy boy child of about 3 years old. The lovely lady 2 cubes back has brought her grandson in to see her for lunch. This wouldnt be bad if his mother, the 17 year old high school-about-to-be-a-graduate, could control him... She cannot, so his grandmother must keep shushing him while trying to contain his squirms. He is a cute kid, but should be outside, running, playing, squashing bugs and putting them in his pocket or all of the other things boy children do while playing outside. Not being stifled in an office while my boss is on a conference call or I am trying to yell at the helpdesk. She is very kind to ask me if they are making too much noise, but what am I supposed to say?? "Yes, your drooling child is far to loud for the office and I am unfeeling, heartless bitch!" That would work wouldnt it??

I am going to go and text message my About-to-be-a-graduate and thank her for not getting knocked up and making me a grandmother before my 40th birthday!

Teen age Logic???

I will never understand the logic of the teenage mind. Last night when I got home from a hard days work the normal suspects were lounging in my living room. In fact Smirk and her friends were congregated on the floor in the doorway of my back door (weird spot for them to be hanging out as this leads to a bathroom and the garage) and Grin was dutifully doing her homework on the couch. I went into the kitchen and proceeded to notice how miraculously the dishes in the sink seemed to have gone forth and multiplied during the day... I was shocked!! What was a bowl had suddenly turned into a bowl, 5 cups, several sets of utensils, the plastic container holding dinner from the previous two nights, and plates. I began to babble out loud at the strange events, bemusing the thought of party that may have been happening during the day where the cups seduced the forks and told them to jump out of the drawer to come to a hot tub party in the sink! Smirk and her friends looked at me like I was insane...Probably am, but that is another issue... I said to them...Wait, plates and cups are inanimate objects they cant go to a hot tub party... How did they get here... They all laughed and said... Sorry we will put them away next time we raid the refrigerator and eat all of the leftovers you were saving for your lunch for the next two days... (Ok they really didn't say that, but in my head it was a much better answer then "sorry mommy")

So I started to make dinner... And a lovely dinner it was! I started to marinate the beef strips in lime & blood orange juice, mixed with olive oil and chili powder mix... Then I sauteed the squash and onions and peppers, the heated up the refried beans... Do you see the dish yet??

As I started cooking the meat, the teenage garbage disposals started perking up and saying things like "oh that smells so good" or "Smirk, mommy is an amazing cook, what are we going to live off of when we go away to college?".... I ignored all of this fake flattery and continued on my cooking efforts. Then Lane had to go back to school for a band thing and the children all said goodbye... I did not think anyone would be back except for Smirk so I started to plate up the food... Grin was patiently waiting for her food, like a puppy drooling at my feet, so I fed her... She was happy, then the horde came back... Smirk sits down on my lap and says "Hi Mommy we are going out to go get something to eat"

I nearly dropped my fajitas.... I looked at her stunned... I finally stammered out... "WHAT??? Why are you going out??? Does the food only taste good if it has been sitting in the fridge for a day and you eat it cold right after school??? "

They had the audacity to say, well we didnt want to eat your food!!!

Again a "WHAT??? You are just going to eat the leftovers tomorrow so why not eat it now??? What is the difference??"

The hemmed and hawed and then went in and made plates....

But I will never understand the teen age logic... Or is that an oxymoron??