Mothers Day Schmothers Day...

I wish I could tell you about my fabulous mothers day... You know the one... (Cue the dreamy music) The one with the attentive loving children who burst into your room at at least 9am so you could sleep in, with a full cup of hot coffee with soy milk and some fabulous breakfast that they have made,

showering you with presents and a gift certificate bought by their father, in order for you to go and get your toes done or the massage you desperately need.

They proceed into the day not fighting and clean up their room and finish their homework, all the while asking if they can get you anything.... (See the dream... Now find the big pin to POP MY BUBBLE)

My mothers day did start at 10ish when my children sullenly stomped into the house.. There was a slight change of plans as they were supposed to come home from the Ex Mr. Amused's house on Saturday night but due to party plans that were happening there, they were forced to stay until the morning. My spawn had planned to rise early and come over in order for me to get my coffee and breakfast.... Planning was never something they were good at...So at 10ish when they stomped in, I have already been caffeinated and am starving. Were there presents??? NO! Was there anything??? No... Did they stop fighting??? No. Did they help in anyway, shape or from? Maybe... Grin did help me "cook" dinner. We had roast chicken from the grocery store, cheese, crackers and veggies and dip. Her cooking was to cut the cucumbers... She was a very big help however, this was ruined as she proceeded to scowl at her sister and they fought over something stupid again...

On a positive note, I did get to watch the Game Plan with The Rock... Cute... And How to Marry a Millionaire...Classic... And the First Wives Club... Hysterical! So decent movie day, still need to do 12 loads of laundry and dishes and clean up the living room, but tomorrow is another day.

How way your weekend????

Training...

Can I start a world wide training class that will teach people courtesy??? Not just please and thank you when someone does something for you or saying excuse me when you burp or bless you when someone sneezes.. Those are the basics, the easy ones that most people forget, but you deal... No I am talking about things that must not be common sense.

For instance, since I have had to go into the office everyday here at Dash, the large International Wireless Carrier where I work and people are just plain inconsiderate... I come in and see the coffee pot is empty, so I make a pot, head to my desk to put away all my stuff and get started on my day. This takes about 5 minutes before I grab my mug (we have gone green and now have no more Styrofoam cups) and head back into the break room to get the elixir of the gods that keeps my brain firing and see SNEAKING LAZY BASTARD who just took the last of the coffee and put the almost empty pot back on the burner without starting anymore... I mean people, it has been 5 minutes since I made the other pot, what did you all do sit and wait to hear the sounds of someone come in and start the coffee, wait until you hear them walk away and BOLT into the kitchen to take it all??? And what the hell is with leaving a tiny bit in the bottom of the pot.. Just finish it, I mean does that qualify as it not being empty so you cant make more???

Or there is the loverly woman who albeit very nice, is a bit on the overweight side (about 200 pounds) who wears at least a quart of perfume everyday. And it isn't expensive perfume so not only does it reek, but it actually burns my nose... But I suppose it is an early warning sign that she is walking down the hall towards the bathroom and it will uninhabitable for at least a 1/2 hour.

What about the very nice couple, who I have never seen in a cube near me... They must be buried somewhere in the rats maze of cubicles, but they eat their lunch every day in the break room. And every day it smells like shrimp ramen... it is vile and disgusting. I am not a fish lover, with the exception of Tallulah/Karl who will not be swimming in Ramen, and do not think I should have to be subjected to the GAG INDUCING smell of this fishy, vile disgustingness while trying to retrieve and heat my lunch. Can smells rub off on foods in the microwave?? I swear my veggies smell like FISH!! Must people bring rancid smelling food to the office to eat??

Its not just smells that annoy me!! Being that I work for a wireless company, people seem to think that every one wants to hear their conversations about little Tyreek and his poo problems. I am very sorry for Tyreek, first because someone in this day and age has named their child something that will induce teasing and torture during his school years (has no one learned) and second because I think that Tyreek's poo problems are better left discussed in private as opposed to the push to talk phones we are currently pushing on the nation. I always try to be courteous about the level of my voice, sometimes my spawn ask me why I am whispering...

Am I too sensitive??? Am I being crazy??? Please tell me I am not the only one with these issues????

2 B or not 2 B....

That is the question.... Grin has to find a monologue for her drama class. She wants to perform something that is not "her". It is a struggle because Grin does not know who she is... She thinks she is a tough cookie but she is most assuredly not... She thinks she should do something dramatic, but everything I find, she says sounds too sad (HELLO, the point behind dramatic???)

My biggest issue is when I look things up on the web, I find that people are basically stupid... What does the word monologue mean?? Lets think shall we... The beginning of the word is MONO - meaning SINGLE, ONE, ALONE or slang for a viral spit swapping disease which requires two people to get the disease so in theory it should be called binucleousis, but I digress... The stupid people on the internet post what the call monoglogues.. Yet they have two people speaking in some of these... Again, 2 not one so should they be called bi-logues or SCENES?? I dont want a scene... She needs to up there alone... So I search... I find many that I think are perfect, but my Amish daughter decides she cant do that or she cant say that word... She really isnt grasping the whole "acting" theory is she....

Maybe she should just give up on the acting and start practicing her fierce walk because at 5'9" she should just chuck it all and become a supermodel...

Get out!

Grin and I have had this long standing plan (actually Grin has this plan, I have other ideas) about our living situation in the future... Grin believes she will live with me until she gets married and then she and her husband will live with me... My plan tends to lean toward her moving out on her own and Mommy living in Italy or England. She has gotten a little bit better so maybe this pipe dream of us sharing a home well into my golden years will just go away...

Smirk on the other hand, wanted to live with me, but now has decided that she wants to move in with her friends. She knows that to follow her career choice of law enforcement for the federal government she will most likely have to go to Quantico (that would be Virginia, not California) and her friends will probably not leave the West Coast, but she is determined...

Last night Smirk came and sat down and said... "I just don't understand... We (the pack of rabid teenagers she calls friends) were talking about college and who was leaving and when, and the chatter turned to what were they all going to do without Mommies..." See, I cook for most of them (they just magically appear when pots start clattering in my kitchen) and I do the laundry for most of them (they leave their clothes on my floor and I end up washing them). They don't know how to cook or do laundry... Smirk however does... So, she instantly became the most sought after roommate. Little do they all know... Smirk knows how to cook and do laundry, she is just too lazy to do any of it... I have a feeling that once she starts college at the 2nd largest party school in California in two years, I will see mounds of laundry coming home on the weekends... It is just going to be too bad for her I will be unavailable unless there is payment!

Happy Belated Erf Day

Yesterday's Earth Day festivities got me thinking about my child hood when my 'rents wanted to get away from society so we moved to Cartoon City, Nevada. I remember thinking "Where???" I also seem to remember my father wanting to be like Grizzly Adams or the Mountain Family Robinson (Adventures of the Wilderness Family)

and leaving civilization to live off the land! I would love to do that. I would like to bake my own bread and grow my own veggies... Sew my own clothes and live like a hermit.. Problems with that would be I cant bake to save my life (I have issues with yeast breads), and my sewing skills are not that wonderful so I think I would end up with a lot of dresses that look like sacks and lots and lots of blankets...

The media reports got me thinking about what my carbon footprint would actually be... I have a car, two in fact, if you count Smirk's... I do use electricity but have switched to halogen and Compact fluorescent bulbs. I try to recycle although from previous posts you may have read it is not so easy... I will now try to find a better use for the millions of plastic grocery bags that I currently have in my pantry. I would love to recycle them, but have not found a place that accepts them.... Our grocery store had a bin out front for about a week until they realized that Americans do not read and people were throwing garbage into this bag recycling area... I don't know what else I can do... I still cannot grow veggies at my apartment complex, nor will they allow the cow or goats that would be needed to provide my own milk/butter/cheese. They will not let us put up solar collectors so I do still need the electric company and gas company unless I want to have freezing cold showers and cook in the barbecue every night.

So for Earth Day, the girls and I decided to celebrate by doing absolutely nothing different! I did not plant a tree, but did water my plants. We did not turn off the electricity, but did go to bed an hour early. Sorry Mother Earth, we will try harder next year!! Maybe by then the apartment complex will start letting me keep a cow!

World Meet....

Tallulah....

(Now this is not really him as he wouldnt hold still long enough for me to snap the picture)

Tallulah or Damn you, yellow light as Grin and Smirk, respectively, call this little guy who was the centerpiece at the Basketball Banquet. The kind, Stay At Home Mommy who organized the decorations this year decided it would be fun to put a live fish in a little vase with a glow stick in the bottom, on each table. Then she stuck 1 piece of paper under the chair of the "winner" of the fish and you would get to take the centerpiece home!!! Isn't that nice!!!! The paper was under my chair so I opted to leave the fish for someone else, but PETA member Grin would not allow it.. She scooped up that vase faster than I could run screaming from the building...
As we were driving frantically toward home, to get Smirk home in time to leave and go to a party at her friends house, we hit every yellow light, hence her name for the fish. Their brother from another mother, Stick Boy named it Carl. He looked at me very quizzically when I asked "Why, does it have a big nose?" And then proceeded to ignore me. (COMEDIC GOLD BY THE WAY)
Two things to note, yes this is a beta fish and therefore can have no companions in the vase with him as he will eat it.
And Two, yes Grin is aware that this fish is a boy and should not be named Tallulah without causing severe psychological damage to said fish... As these fish come from Thailand, luckily for us I am not sure that he can understand English.

No excuses!

Hello all! Sorry for the lack of posts lately, but there has just been no time at my house! With graduation rapidly approaching and craziness at the international telephone conglomerate, I have not had time to type!!

But there is just so much going on everywhere, it is no excuse!!!

Smirk & I went to the community college where she will be attending in the fall, to check things out and get signed up for her to get started. She has completely changed her plans (AGAIN) and is now planning on attending one year at the community college and then transferring up to UC Santa Barbara with her best friend. She better get some good grades for this first year and get some scholarships for the next because I have no idea how she expects me to win lotto so she can go to school!!

Grin is a crazy stress victim but can finally relax and breath this week as it is spring break and she does not have any homework to do!! She also has changed her future plans (AGAIN). She went with her class to the local hospital where the students were assigned to different wards in the hospital. She was assigned to neo natal intensive care. She loved it and now wants to be a pediatrician or a neo natal nurse... This is followed up with my lotto comment from above!!!

In world news... I was sad to see that Charlton Heston passed away this weekend. The only reason I mention this is that I was reading his bio... He married his in 1944...She was an actress also... She was a minor player with him in the Greatest Show on Earth, and performed with him on a made for TV movie show called Studio One. It is amazing to me that in a place like Hollywood where marriages do not last long enough to get the licenses back from the state, that these two stayed married until death did them part. I dont know why but that makes me feel a little better about living near the den of iniquity called Hollyweird!

More on life later!!!