Dirty....

So I am sure you have seen those strange commercials on the telly.. Where it states you should go elfyourself... That just sounds so lascivious!! But anyway... I am a sucker for the strange, so I did it! I elf'd myself.... check it out!!!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9633101440


This is the only and last time you will ever see any of us do this again!!!!

Good God, is he still alive???

When I was a kid my parents used to watch 60 minutes every Sunday evening especially the Andy Rooney segment. I hated this.. He was boring and old and talked funny... Well not much has changed.. I still don't care much for 60 minutes, but I do sometimes find Andy Rooney amusing and a little bit acerbic..But I had no idea he was still alive... I mean he was old when I was a kid and now.. WOW he is really old. But I was turned on to a recent segment by my auntie who had said he talked to people about what they carry with them while walking through New York. And it got me to thinking.. I really don't carry much on my person and I rarely walk anywhere. Not due to laziness but due to the fact that where I live is primarily a car centric community. The public transportation is not great. We do not have a subway and the geography is very spread out. For instance, I work 20 miles from where I live... Cant really walk that, no subways.. There is train but I would have to walk about 5 miles to get to the train and 7 miles from the station to the office.. Not exactly convenient... Healthy I think, but not convenient....


So anyway here is my thought, does a car replace a bag here in California? Several people I know carry so much stuff in their cars that they could qualify as a vacation home. I personally carry at least two books with me at all times... You never know when you might need a little something to read... I also have two water bottles, several pencils (all left behind by Smirk and Grin's holey book bags), two lip glosses, tissues, several pairs of extra shoes in case of a costume malfunction, jackets, a blanket and a packet of instant oatmeal, you never know when you might need oatmeal... This is far more than I carry in my purse... Lip gloss, credit card, spare change, keys....

So which are you? Are you a car or bag type person??? Or is there a third type... The minimalist??? How many types are there?? Maybe Andy needs to do some more research... After all, New York is not the capital of the world... Or is it just he is so old, that he isn't allowed outside of the Big Apple anymore...

Sickness

What a fun Thanksgiving weekend! HA! If your version of fun is not leaving the house and holding someone's hair every two hours, then you would have loved my weekend. Smirk crawled into my bed at 2am on Saturday morning complaining that her stomach hurt. She does not like to be sick at all but is very stoic about the ordeal so when she started throwing up and has tears streaming down her face and her whole body was heaving with her, she was the most pathetic little thing... She did not leave her bed for two days. She finally started to feel better Sunday afternoon and got alot of sleep. I however need more sleep... And less work to do... Re-washing sheets and sanitzing bathrooms was not the way I wanted to spend my 4 day weekend!!!

Thanksgiving!!!

I love Thanksgiving. I love to cook, and eat (obviously shown in the size of my pants), I love to spend time with my family and others while eating and cooking. I love pie and all fall foods... However, I do dislike the day after Thanksgiving. Black Friday.. It disturbs me how Christmas decorations go up the day after Halloween and two weeks ago Santa was making the rounds at the local strip mall across the street from my house. ( I did tell Smirk & Grin that we should go over and visit him and throw turkey legs at him until he ran screaming from the mall) And since I work for the sales division of a large wireless telecom retailers (otherwise known as the fat kid in the alltell commercials) I really hate Black Friday. But there are two extreme forces at work on this evil day:


The shoppers - why in god's name would you want to get up and go to a store at 4am just to get that pair of jeans for 40% off or more??? 4am?? Is that reasonable to ask an employee to get up at 3am just be there while the middle class buy bulk underwear and candles??? Or to stand in line later in the day with those same people who have been shopping since 4am... They are not friendly or happy or merry...


The other factions at work are these guys http://adbusters.org/metas/eco/bnd/
While I think their message is good somewhat impractical, I do support the thought behind no shopping on Black Friday.


My boss might not like to hear me spout the anti shopping line, since it is one of our biggest revenue days of the year, but oh well... Company line be damned.... NO SHOPPING FOR ME ON THE 23rd of NOVEMBER!!!

Extreme Sport...

Ever feel sympathy towards a hamster in a the spinning wheel.. How about the movie "The boy in the plastic bubble"? Want to be like them???

This is the new extreme sport with locations popping up all around the world. They have locations all over the world, but just a few.. Most in New Zealand as this is where this interesting trend came from... But if you are in Tennessee or Europe you can partake... Not only can you roll around in a giant plastic ball, but they will add water, warm water to the inside of the ball so soothe you as you roll! Check out their site!

http://www.zorb.com/main.html

Poor, negelected & underappreciated...

Crosswalks.....So graciously provided by the city to ensure the walking public's safety. Most cities have thoughtfully provided the little green man and hand to tell you when to cross. Some have even made them motion-censored as to not have to reach down and push a button to let the computer know you are ready to cross. They have voices to tell the blind when they cross and what intersection they have reached... This 3 foot wide strip of painted haven ensures that the woman applying her mascara as she drives down the surface streets, does stop when you cross the street at the appropriate time. Is it just laziness that drives people to cross the street 300 yards from the nearest crosswalk or are they just that much better than everyone else, that they deserve to saunter across the avenue where ever they please? Are their feet too good to be placed in the painted area?? Maybe it is their shoes, just too expensive to be forced to walk in the designated area???

I just don't understand. Last evening while driving home in the dusky, last rays of daylight, I slammed on brakes to allow a very arrogant man to hustle across the street just a short distance away from pedestrian safety area. As I glared at him, hostile because not only did I almost hit him, in his dark black, albeit very nice suit, but he had the audacity to yell (curse like a drunken sailor) at me for coming to a screeching halt in the middle of the road while he jaywalked across the lane. As if I interuppted his deep thoughts while he darted into traffic. (By the way, who is Jay and why did he start this insidious practice?)

Since working for the large telecom conglomerate that I do, I have seen my share of stupid, but this group of renegade walkers seem to own a rather large portion of the stupid pie...

More on Cars...

Teens in cars... It is a right of passage. They struggle to get their license and then are off... Spreading their wings and flying (at 90 miles an hour in a 50 zone) while the parents sit at home on pins and needles waiting for them to get home....I was waiting. Waiting for the frantic phone call... "Mom, I am lost" or "Mommy, I broke your car"...But it didnt come! Smirk drove her and Grin to their father's house for the first time....alone... This sounds like a So What moment...But we live in Southern California and her father lives over 30 miles away from our little house.. So that means the child who was afraid to drive over the speed limit on surface streets and does not like to change lanes because she does not like other cars even though they were usually 5 car lengths away...

I sat on my couch waiting... Devising a plan... How would I get to her to rescue her when she called in tears saying that the car speeding down the freeway and tailgating her had scared her too much to drive any further... What could I do, she had my car, I was left with the topless BMW convertible...But being supermom, I resolved that I would put on many layers and soar through the night to rescue my helpless child. Did I need to sit and worry about this... No. She did just fine. She even changed lanes on the 5 freeway. Granted it was now past 8pm on a Friday night so traffic had died down alot so I really didnt need to be quite as nervous as I was, but more to my dismay... Her father was not nervous at all, in fact.... He went to bed. Didnt even wait for them to arrive... Just yawn, think I will get some sleep now... The girls will get here eventually... How could he not be worried... This was precious cargo...Cargo that was driving itself careening down the freeway, not used to the dangers that are out in the world. Thinking she is invincible because in her mind, she is and will never be hurt...And he goes to BED.

Smirk told me I was being silly and she was fine and this was a good thing because I should stop worrying about her and let her take care of herself... My reply... "What!! I was not worried about You, I was concerned about the status of my lovely car & your passenger...Why should I worry about you??" That took the smirk right off her face...

I did tell her with a smile that it was not true and I was worried about her... and her passenger...and of course, my car...