Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The New Year???

Tonight is the night that people stay up and welcome the new year with noise and champagne and kisses! I however, will be home with Smirk and her friends playing Scrabble or Risk. I will most likely be asleep before midnight, but they will make it I am sure. I may get a kiss from my lovely daughter at midnight, but that is about it... Grin will be in a hotel room in Pasadena with her best friend Oatsnhorses and her family,waiting to see the Rose Parade in the morning. They will have a wonderful time I am sure!!!

Now for the unrealistic part of the new year... Resolutions....

In 2009, I resolve to:
  • Giggle more with my girls
  • Talk walks to nowhere for no reason other than to enjoy the world outside
  • work just the right amount
  • enjoy more
  • lose the weight on my shoulders by thinking better thoughts
  • stop saving things for a rainy day... too many have passed by
  • play more games, they are beneficial.
  • lose a little weight around my waist, so I can run down the beach
  • Remember to by a lotto ticket, you cant win if you don't play

This will be fun if I can just remember to stick to them!

Have a Happy and Safe New Year!



Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Christmas miracles and how to do them properly!

The ex Mr amused and his wife decided to tell their son, Elmer, that Santa is not real... He is only 10 and if they had any imagination, they could have kept this up for a while. What is more fun on Christmas morning than the excitement children feel when they see all sorts of gifts under the tree that magically appeared in the night.... Smirk and Grin decided that this was an error in judgement, so I hatched a plan! Now I am really good at the Christmas magic... Ask Grin she will tell you all about the year "Santa" made a letter appear on the printer telling her about the good deed she did by giving the doll that she really wanted, but was way too expensive for my budget, to a homeless girl who lived in a car in Alabama... But this years Christmas miracle had to be good.... My plan was to do a midnight raid on his house and leave presents from Santa for Elmer under the tree. Grin would hold the dog outside, Smirk would crawl in the doggy door and deposit the presents. I would be in the car with the engine running.... There would be black clothes, dropping and rolling and jingle bells. All this would be done at midnight Christmas eve!!! So we planned for the fun!

We bought 3 gifts. Nice small and fun. No books as that would be a dead giveaway it was from me. We purchased special wrapping paper, just the right hint of old fashioned but nothing like we had at home, another dead giveaway. We wrapped and waited. We planned and then made contingencies... Just in case the parents were still awake at midnight wrapping presents, Smirk would go in through the back while they were in the garage wrapping... This was their norm.

Finally Christmas eve came and we received a call from the Mr. Ex. He and the family were going to a party! DUH, we had forgotten about the annual boring Christmas eve shindig they attended. We flew into action... Gifts in the car, no need for black face, clothes or jingle bells, just sneaking in the back and tucking presents under the tree where we hoped no one would see until morning. Darkness had fallen by the time we arrived, nothing stirred in the house, minus the dog. We snuck into the gate, hiding as we went, still doing the mission impossible moves we had seen in every movie. We obtained entry through the doggy door, put the presents down, then realized we never wrote his name on them... So we rumbled around for a pen, careful to leave no traces that we were ever there, I wrote his name disguising my handwriting, we placed carefully and snuck out the door. There was mass giggling and hiding. We then drove home, happy that the first part of the plan went well!

The next day, Christmas morning, was fantastic! We opened presents, drank coffee and cocoa all snuggled up in our jammies, when upon the table there arose such a clatter... The jingle of text messages arriving in tandem, we jumped from the couch to see what was the spasm. The message was from Daddy proclaiming our greatness... Giggles and smiles were passed but unawareness we replied. We protested our innocence. How could we know what happened at his house 30 miles away!! He did not believe us until we drove up in the drive. He sprang from his house to question and query. Did they drive here last, was the question he pondered. I responded no... how could they, when would they, we were together all evening. The confusion on his face was priceless. The girls they did question. The Christmas miracle was a success. No one still knows the truth... And unless an elf cracks.. No one will... Now to plan for next Christmas... How do we top this one????

Monday, December 22, 2008

I hate shopping!

I love presents. The surprise and happiness on peoples faces when the get presents. I love to give and receive them. I however hate to shop for them. Malls are horrible. People are rude and smelly. I realize that the store I was in had far too many people it for the air conditioner to work effectively but come on it was broiling. And the many of the unwashed masses were huddling exactly where I wanted to be. And no one knows the meaning of the words personal space. Why was the woman in line so close to my behind that she kept hitting my purse with her elbow. I finally had to accidentally swing my body to the side to violently cough and hit her with my purse. She was that close... Why?? Do you need to be close enough to me to smell me?? There is nothing in my purse of interest so back off! Not only that but I couldnt find the shoes I was looking for even though the girl on the phone told me they had them. Did you know that no one sells regular televisions any more?? No flat screens only... What if I dont want a flat screen especially not one that is about 15 inches and cost more than my car. Next year, no shopping! everyone gets home made presents. I am going to spend the year learning how to knit and make my own sweaters... Or maybe just alot of internet shopping!!

And I still have to go to Toys R Us....