Why I will never do dishes again (at least for a week)

So after a lovely day of working, nice dinner of tacos, there was a pile of dishes in the sink. Dishwasher being on the fritz, I decided to wash the dishes by hand, like I was taught as a child. Fill up the sink with hot, soapy water, put dishes in, scrub, rinse, repeat... No way!!! No more...

I did everything right... Until, I picked up a mason jar glass that had apparently cracked in the heat... Why look at the item in your hands, just plunge in and scrub...Ok so in goes the sponge, and my hand, up to the area between my pinkie and ring finger... Turn the glass for maximum cleansing and hey look, why is the water turning red... Cuss out loud, grab and towel and announce to the shocked kids who are looking at their mother who just cussed out loud, that I had cut myself... Jokingly Smirk says do we need to go to the hospital... Uh yeah, I said and quick, get the keys... Grin, freaks out and starts asking questions... I calmly grab two clean and my favorite dish towels to stop the arterial spray and walk to the garage, forgetting that oh so important wallet and fact that I cant drive since I am applying pressure... The girls start grabbing things like an expectant father... Do you need towels, where are the keys, here is your wallet, find the insurance card... Meanwhile I am calmly strolling to the car, blood dripping down my arm and onto my white shirt... Now, it was after dinner, I had been working from home so I was in my grubby sweats (grubby = huge hole in the knee), hair a mess and no makeup, no shoes and now a blood stained shirt. Girls rush past me and tuck me into the car... Grin is freaking out mildly. Smirk is driving. We get to the hospital and the triage nurse asks me to remove the towel... As I start to do this I realize that the bleeding has stopped and the blood is clotting, to the towel. As I remove, it starts to pump blood again. The nurse slaps some gauze on my hand and says more pressure... Hospital is packed so they ask me to sit in a chair in the hall way... 45 minutes later, someone takes my xray's... 30 minutes after that they found me a room... By 9:30, I have 5 stitches and have lost a quart of blood! I could feel it pumping from my the palm of my hand while the top was numb. There was blood on the bed and the floor...It looked like a warzone! All from a cut in my hand! Finally cleaned up and gauze stuffed in between the fingers so it looks like a really warped Spock-like- live long and prospers sign, I am allowed to go home. Now two days later, I can take the bandage off and can use the fingers just not over use it... So does that mean no more typing or working for the day??? Of course not, I just cant use my pinkie... Typing has gone from 90 wpm to 10!! Not fair!! And painful... But at least the doctor of my dreams did not show up while I was looking scuzzy... I know he is still out there and next time I injure myself (and I am sure there will be a next time) I will not be wearing scuzzy clothes, I have now vowed to constantly wear ball gowns and tiara's while doing everything, including vacuuming, laundry, gardening....