What do you say to someone when you know their heart is breaking and there is nothing that you can say that will make it better? What do you say to someone who is both angry and in shock? What do you say to a 17 year old girl whose father had a massive heart attack and she didn't get to say goodbye? Nothing... You just sit there and hold her and hug her and cry on the top of her head because she is sobbing in your arms.
Yesterday, Pony Princess', Smirk's best friend, father died. He knew something was wrong with him. He was worried about it but didn't do anything. As I told Pony Princess, maybe he thought it was minor and he had plenty of time... He wrote his 5 children a note telling them how much he loved them and explaining things (I didn't really get the gist of this note through the sobbing and snot) but it was not enough for any of them. She was feeling guilty for being mad at him. That I quickly dispelled.. I did tell her it was ABSOLUTELY OK to be mad at him for leaving her. She felt guilty for not wanting to go home to her crazy family. She has two older sisters and is the youngest of triplets. The oldest sister is all of 23 and is getting married in a few months. Her sister who is 21 is an alcoholic /druggie who was focusing her grief on cigarettes and a bottle (ironic as their Dad was a big AA follower), her older triplet sister has a baby to care for and was falling apart and the only boy of the family the middle triplet was just angry at the world.
Smirk, Grin, Lane (Smirk's other best friend) and I tried to explain that she did not have to face anyone in that house right away. She could stay hidden with us at my house and deal with them when she felt up to it. But the thing that broke my heart most was when she sobbed into my chest and said that she just wanted him to be proud of her and see her walk at her graduation next month and then take her to college in the fall (she is the first and probably only one of her sisters going to college). Her only thought was that he wouldn't be proud of her. That one brought me to tears...
So they are all at my house today... No one really felt like going to school... (except Grin, she had a play to do and didn't have a choice). They were going to hang around my house and just be there for her in case she needed shoulders to cry on... I know it will get easier on her, eventually, but I just wish there was something that I could do, something I could say... But what can you ever really say....
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